


Decaf and Decisions

by Chaneladdict



Series: Vintage Boyfriends [2]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types
Genre: Awesome Natasha Romanov, Awesome Sam Wilson, Boys In Love, Cept he loves his guys, Confused Bucky Barnes, Everyone Is Poly Because Avengers, Falling In Love, Fluff and Angst, Love Confessions, M/M, Oblivious Steve Rogers, Polyamory, Polyamory Negotiations, Pre-OT3, Protective Steve Rogers, Sam Wilson is So Done, Sequel, Steve Rogers knows nothing, T'Challa's Docs are fondly known as King Cat's Genius Bar, Unrequited Love, Warm and Fuzzy Feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-29
Updated: 2016-06-29
Packaged: 2018-07-18 22:30:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,657
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7333234
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chaneladdict/pseuds/Chaneladdict
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The accidental sequel to Coffee and Clichés. </p><p>Sam's life has been turned upside down, and while he isn't the Price of Bell-Air, he *is* living a very strange life. His relationship with Steve is going strong. But the added factor of living with Steve's BF for literal F, their new identities as wanted criminals, and the fact that the new guy has been his boyhood crush since he knew what crushes were, well, it all makes for complications. And Sam finds himself in a relationship with not one, but two vintage boyfriends.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Decaf and Decisions

**Author's Note:**

> Hi guys! So I didn't expect this to happen frankly C and C was a little cute one-shot. But then I got chatting to @sherloques on Tumblr, and well, it happened. Have a Sam POV - because we need more Sam POV's. He's a funny, insightful little bean, with a big heart, and an even bigger problematic love life who should probably switch to decaf.

Sam had his rituals on a Saturday.

It was always the same, sleep late, get up, go for an _overpriced_ coffee and a muffin, come back, and catch up on his emails, shows, and housework he’d missed out on in the week previous. Of course, this was after he’d come back from service, before his new boyfriend, and in-between corrupt governments, psychotic robots and witches, oh and that one brainwashed POW that led to a ton of awkward in-fighting at his new job.

These days a Saturday like the old days was a rarity, sure he still attempted to sleep late, but his boyfriend was a morning person to the annoying degree. He was a functional-night-owl (No bird jokes, please), he could get up and run, and not speak, and run, and the whole not speaking thing was key. Steve Rogers? Yeah, he was an honest to god sunshine smiles and bright eyes at ass o’ clock in the am.

It was his one major flaw, according to Sam.

Well, that and the fact that he was utterly and completely _oblivious_.

You see, some things became crystal clear to Sam after the in-fighting with the Avengers simmered down, one- he really loved their time in Wakanda where Steve was the odd man out – the token white guy – it was a good time, really; the weather, the hospitality, the people, the swank swag all of it.  He was the guest of a king, and sure his mom thought he was a criminal now, but when he could contact her again he had a shit ton of selfies that proved those assholes wrong and he was sure she’d be proud of him again. And two, his boyfriend was utterly ignorant to the pining’s of his life-long-no-so-hetero-BFF.

The trip the land of King Cat was also necessary in a lot of ways, what with the government out for their necks and all, but beyond that, it was a time of massive change – and not just in locational. See Steve being Steve and thus being oblivious as hell, somehow in his adventures with his ‘best friend in the world’, failed to realise that said best friend was ass backwards in love with him. And it hurt Sam’s heart to see such pining and heart eyes from a distance as his boyfriend continued to just not see it?! It was baffling and confusing, and in a tiny way, just a tiny way, a little entertaining?

What? The guy wrecked his car _and_ his wings, and they spent two years tramping the planet looking for his stealth ass. You know how much his insurance went up?

So, no, he wasn’t exactly on the Bucky Barnes Love Train – at first anyway. Steve was too trusting; too head first in to fucked up situations for this guy, someone needed to keep a level head.

And he did, as well as a bitch attitude that he was maybe not so proud of. Because yeah, the guy had been through the ringer more than once, and maybe he could have cut him some slack.

Or maybe he could have cut his game of hide and seek down a year and Sam could have been there when his niece was born, but whatever, _whatever_.

But he had made his choice to follow Steve, and from a scattering of conversations it seems like he and Barnes have that in common, well that, and being ass backwards for Steve Rogers it seemed.

He still recalls the moment Bucky found out about him and Steve. They had been going down the freeway in that tiny as hell car that Steve had the nerve to call a getaway car, and he could feel Barnes’ eyes bore in to the back of his neck in that creepy way he could pull off like no one else when Steve had turned to Sam to say something about where they were meeting Sharon, things between Steve and Bucky had still been …delicate, and the air was charged as it was, they were criminals now after all, and not exactly in the good books of their former team mates. But it was something simple, Steve reached over and brushed something innocuous from Sam’s face, dust or whatever and he swore he heard Barnes breathing shift. Which was a standout moment because the guy was silent as the grave; and so, Sam decided to push it. He leaned in and kissed Steve as thanks, to which of course Steve blushed, because he was Steve and even though they’d been together going on two years, he was still a goddamn sweetheart.

“Are you… queer now, Steve?”

Sam bristled, and Steve gripped the steering wheel at Bucky’s quiet voice.

“It’s not queer now … it’s –“

“Gay.” Sam interjected as a correction.

“But gay is _happy_ ,” Barnes reasoned, sounding utterly confused.

Steve just shrugged. “Now it’s queer.”

“So it’s _not_ gay?” Barnes answered again and just no.

But when Sam shifted in the seat to look back he saw that Bucky was smirking. Knowing exactly what he was doing in stressing Steve out.

Then Steve saw it too and just cocked a brow.

“You’re a jerk.” He directed happily at Bucky, who just smiled. When it was genuine and not sad, Sam admitted to himself that yeah, Barnes was still pretty.

“Sorry, I couldn’t help it. I don’t talk to a lot of people you know? My uh… people skills aren’t what they used to be.” Steve just nodded and took the next left, “but yours have improved, if you’re… I mean are you two …”

“Dating and yes,” Sam added swiftly.

“Huh.” Was all Barnes said and then the car went silent.

“And it’s bisexual. The word for what I am, for what Sam is too, when you like … both.”

“So queer –“

“Is considered a slur,” Sam educated.

“Yeah, it kinda was then too but we just kept on saying it, it’s good that it’s been stamped down though, that’s good.” He added thoughtfully, “So it’s gay or bisexual?”

“Or Pansexual or Asexual…actually there’s a lot more definitions for things now than what we had.” Steve continued like he was giving a class, and Sam was so proud.

“Huh,” Barnes exhaled again. “Guess I’ve got more reading to do, they don’t tell you this in the museum,” Sam could hear the smile this time without turning around. And at the time as much as he hated to admit it, Barnes just being there made Steve happy, even if Sam was still in ‘be a dick’ mode.

When Steve exited the car to get their shit from Sharon, Bucky shifted, and asked politely for the seat to be moved, which because of ‘dick mode’, Sam said no, in all honesty he was testing the guy, and he was still annoyed at how on board Steve was with this despite very little evidence to them not getting fucked over. But then Bucky took a deep breath as if bracing himself for a punch, and spoke.

“I didn’t know he … I mean I thought sometimes maybe … but before he… I just wanted people to see him, you know? See how …well just to see him how I saw him. And I thought him and Carter…” Bucky looked out the window at the two blondes talking and hugging, “The _other_ Carter, would have been that. Finally; but … guess I just mean I’m glad he hasn’t been alone. He’s too special to be alone.”

Sam wasn’t sure what to say then, to this rather unexpected spew of words from the quiet man, never mind the emotions that went with it.

Then their world - jobs, friends, places in society went to shit, again, and somehow three months later there they were. No longer in Wakanda, but now on an island in the Seychelles, their base for the past month, and it would be until Natasha sent them word for their next safe house and bank account details.

Sam really was more a soldier than a spy, but he was for damn sure happy Red was on their side.

Steve was up at dawn as usual and had already done six laps of the beach half a mile from their little apartment on the island, Sam was at the table, bowl of cereal half-finished when Steve came back, sweaty and gross and beautiful in all his too tight t-shirted glory, when Bucky shuffled out of his room, silently grabbing the bread to stick it in the toaster. He was clad only in his boxers. Boxers Sam recognised instantly.

He knew they shared clothes, hell it was almost cute, and it’s not like any of Steve’s things didn’t accidentally get mixed in with his every now and then, but this?

“You two sharing underwear now? You know that unsanitary.”

“Pretty sure your _mouth_ has been in some unsanitary places and it seems to be doing just fine,” Bucky mumbled and Steve chuckled before looking down at his half naked BF for literal F. This was Sam and Bucky’s vibe, sarcasm and food.

“Nah, Sam I have the same pair, so do you but you just haven’t worn them yet.” Steve added as casual as you like, before grabbing water from the fridge.

“I’m sorry what?” Sam asked as Bucky went beside Steve, no personal space needed as he nudged him out of the way with his underwear covered hip to retrieve the butter.

“They were on sale at the store, three for two.”

“Bargain,” Bucky commented and Steve nodded as if to say ‘I know right?!’

“Three for … Steve _please_ tell me we’re not walking around in matching underwear now?”

“Well no, but, and at that Steve shimmied a little and yanked his sweats down his hips a touch. Bucky never took his eyes off him either, to expose his matching underwear to Bucky.

“WE are. You still haven’t worn yours.”

 _He wanted to head desk_.

This was just how they were. They shared t-shirts, sweaters, possibly socks too. They also shared space in a way that Sam hadn’t witnessed since his parents, frankly. They tried each other’s foods, they ran in step with each other, it was all very … in sync. Sam was convinced if they were women their cycles would match up too, they were that close. It should have bothered him more than it amused him, but Steve was so utterly sincere and again, unaware to what Sam saw that he knew he wasn’t doing it to make Sam jealous, and Sam wasn’t jealous.

 _Much_.

He knew Steve loved him; they had been through alot in their time together, as a couple and as Avengers. They had served their team well, and served their relationship well too. Sam was Steve’s first real gay relationship ‘kissing a few guys in a few bars didn’t really hold a candle to this,” he’d say, his first time for a lot of things in fact, and each time they were crossing a milestone it felt good, it felt  natural . And see, the thing was, Sam’s life since hurricane Rogers came storming through it was unrecognisable, and it was. But that too felt natural.

To be in upheaval now, felt like home.

And his home was currently a two bedroomed apartment a half a mile from a beach, on a goddamn island, with his pining best friend turned ex brainwashed assassin in the next room seventy percent of the time.

He’d say seventy percent because he was getting better now, at socialising, going to the store, going to the bar, going out in the world. The new arm supplied by the genius bar at King Cat’s Wakandan genius bar seen fit to having him looking the part, the tan helped too, the tidied up scruff even more so.  They got by now on his hacked and now empty Hydra bank accounts, Sam’s savings and Steve’s back _and_ current pay which oddly enough even though he wasn’t an Avenger anymore, still got topped up monthly from an unknown source. Last time he’d seen Natasha she had merely winked. They assumed she had something, or everything to do with it. Money withdrawals were always done the minute they were due to leave a country, because the good old FBI was still on their trail.

But they made stretch, they lived simply, and since Steve was often the one to go shopping they often got killer deals like his three for two on goddamn underwear.

“Don’t think I don’t know, Rogers.” Sam whispered. Steve was snuggled on his chest like he did sometimes when Sam wagered he wanted to feel small, so he indulged him and let him little spoon the fuck out of the situation.

“Know what?” His post-sex voice was one of Sam’s favourite things ever.

“That you only initiate sex once Barnes leaves the apartment.”

Steve sighed.

“That obvious, huh?”

“Very much so, yes,” Sam deadpanned.

“It’s not that I … don’t want to other times, it’s just… it’s … disrespectful. When he’s just in the next room and we _know_ he can hear us –“

“Even though all you wanna do is have that weird super silent Irish Catholic guilt sex –“

“Sam if you think what we do is anywhere _near_ what the Catholic’s be wanting from gay men then you’ve got to read more –“Steve laughed, but moved from his spot on Sam’s chest to sit up and look at him. “But no, it’s not that –“

“It’s a respect thing?”

“Yeah, I mean okay… I remember when we lived together … you know, before, and how I always felt when he had dates over and how I always felt like a lemon when they’d you know …” Steve waved his hand, not willing to say sex, but perfectly willing to have Sam in his ass not ten minutes before. Sometimes he didn’t understand the guy at ALL.

“And that’s all it was?” Because Sam called bullshit, not with the way they looked at each other, and gave the world – quite literally – up for each other time and time again.

“C’mon we’ve talked about this,” Steve shifted, uncomfortable again.

“I know, and it’s fine if you say you and he never –“

“We never, _ever_ , okay?”

“But did you _want_ to?”

And he knew what was coming; the same answer he always got before Steve abruptly ended the conversation.

“It wasn’t like that with us, okay?” as he got up from the bed and grabbed his towel, “I need to shower, meeting Nat in an hour.”

And like always Sam was left with the conversation half finished, unsure if he’d ever get a real answer. Or maybe just the answer he was looking for.

                                                                       ***

The next morning post run on the beach Sam was surprised to see Bucky sitting by the rocks. Seemingly lost in his own world, earbuds in, sunshades on. He was wearing Steve’s ‘vintage’ Brooklyn t-shirt with some surf shorts. His tan coming along nicely, a lot better than the deathly pale guy he had first met. Sure he was built then, but he was still not healthy. At least now, with three meals and fresh air, and actual honest to god sleep, he resembled more of the guy Sam knew from the history books. It was just another part of his weird life now, men flew in iron suits, guys frozen come back to life seventy years later.

“Hey.” Sam gestured, waving in front of him before joining him on the rock. He was like a very sad mermaid man. A merman. A sad hobo merman.

“Hi… you done with your run?”

“Yep, beach is all yours if you want it?” He laughed, because really, there was maybe two other people on the whole beach and they were at the other end of it, walking their dog. It was barely sunrise.

“Not today. Steve says we’re leaving. Natasha found us a place in Sweden.”

“Huh. Sweden. That’ll be new.”

“It’s nice, expensive though, so I’ve asked her to find us somewhere out in the country maybe, but then she told me to go fuck myself because she wasn’t my estate agent.” There was a faint smile on his lips then before it vanished. “I wanted to talk to you, alone though.”

Sam shifted then, waiting.

“I ..” Bucky ran his hand through his hair, he was nervous, “I um… I need to leave. Once we get there, I need to …go.”

“Why?”

At that Bucky looked at him, as if to say ‘really man?’ but Sam didn’t budge.

“I’ve took up enough time… of Steve’s time. Yours. Together... I mean, I’m not stupid, I know half of this has been because of me, and being with me until I got better… but what they did for me with T'challa’s tech, it all really helped. Not just the arm.” He rubbed his new arm, and it was a thing of beauty, covered in a magic science material that Sam forgot the name of, made it look and feel like skin. Creepily awesome, Sam thought. “But I’m okay now, mostly.”

“Mostly?”

He just smiled.

“No one is ever a hundred percent perfect, you told me that.”

“I did.”

Bucky smiled.

“But I know that your life…and your relationship with Steve are suffering ‘cause of me and I don’t want that.”

“What do you want?”

No answer.

“I don’t wanna be in the way.”

Sam just sighed.

“You aren’t. Steve loves you.” Bucky looked up then but then looked out the ocean.  “He worries.”

“I know he does, he always did. We … it was different before. I worried about him, because he was sick and small and a pain in my ass half the time,” his little smile made Sam’s heart ache. “Then he was big and strong and still a pain in my ass.” Bucky just huffed a laugh, “but he was mine to look out for…” as if catching his words, “you know as my friend, and I was his, we were … all each other had I guess.”

_Mmmhm, sure that’s all it was._

Sam decided that fuck it, the silk gloves in which he was approaching things had to stop.

“How long were you in love with Steve?”

Sam saw his cheeks flush, his mouth pinch before he huffed breath to speak.

“It’s not –“

“It’s not like that, yeah that’s the line I hear a lot, but see I think it is.”

Bucky looked to him then and he swore he saw fear in his eyes.

“I wouldn’t ever… he loves _you_.”

A beat but then he forced that smile.

“I couldn’t tell you why of course, you aren’t cute or charming at ALL, Wilson; it’s a mystery.”

He just shook his head, it so wasn’t about _that_ , or the poor attempt at deflection. Sam knew Steve loved him and was loyal. But he also knew what it was to love your best friend in a more than a best friend kind of way. He knew how much that hurt. And the truth was he didn’t know what would happen, or why he was even pushing things. Why couldn’t he just take them at their word, let Bucky run off, and let him and Steve set up a life alone in peace?

Maybe because he knew that’s not how things would go, at all? Because in reality Steve would chase Bucky again; and Sam would be back to sleeping on motel beds in a sleeping bag, and no thanks, universe.

“He does, I’ve seen it. Hell I’ve heard it too… but I see how he is with you. It’s … it… he’s _happy_.” Bucky stated.

“He’s _happy_ because you’re around too.”

“I’m just someone that reminds him of home…”

“How long?” Sam pushed.

Bucky tutted to himself, folding his arms, looking out on to the ocean defiantly.

“I didn’t think he was … like that. You know? I thought … he liked girls. And he did. Liked them a whole lot; so did I … still do?” The poor guy looked so at war with himself, “But it’s just … like he said there weren’t really words for things like there is now. It was confusing. And yeah, I… loved him, he was …is … the most important person in my life. But … everything's different now. He’s different. He doesn’t need me. He … he has you. Really has you in every way he deserves. He has real love.”

“This is true. He does, and I do love him.” Sam made sure to get that point across, because really it was his truth.

Bucky nodded still not answering his question, though.

“But you… you I don’t know. You … all I know is you’ve been the pain in MY ass for the past two years. You don’t talk a lot to me when he’s not around, and I figure that’s your choice an all. But if you’re gonna be a part of our lives, I’d kinda like to get to know –“

“I need to leave though, I needed to leave weeks ago and I couldn’t…”

“Because you missed him,” Sam stated simply.

Bucky just looked to the ground.

“It’s not fair to you, now I know what it was like for him, all those years on dates I tried to set up for him. I guess its karma.” Bucky shrugged, “but I can’t do it anymore, and … I think if I go he might … it might be better for you guys.”

“Says who?”

“Me.”

“Do you really want to leave?”

Bucky didn’t look at him then.

“Barnes… I know you and me we started off all –“

“I almost killed you, whatever way you reacted to me was your right.”

“Yeah,” Sam was sort of ashamed of himself then, he had dealt with POW’s in his line of work before, where was his compassion? Buried under repressed jealousy, probably, “Doesn’t mean I’m proud of it though.”

It was Sam’s turn then to look on to the ocean. In the grand scheme of things, they were blips on the timeline of life, so whatever they did now mattered.

“Look, you wanna go, you can go. I don’t think Steve would want you staying somewhere against your will, least of all with him.”

Bucky nodded, “But please don’t go if you feel like I don’t want you here. I do. And not just for Steve okay? You’re …polite and kind and considerate, and you cook minimally better than Steve.” Sam smiled. And it made Bucky’s eyes light up in a way he hadn’t seen before, almost mischievously.

“Truth is, I wanna get to know you, get to know what all the fuss is about to be honest with you.”

At that Bucky laughed, a real honest laugh, and for some reason it made Sam’s heart jump to know it was because of him.

“To be just as honest, Sam, I’m not sure what all the fuss is about.”

“Well, let’s find out, huh?”

Bucky smiled then, it was soft and shy and oh my, Sam thought for a second he caught a glimpse of whatever he had been before, and that intrigued him to no end.

“Sam? Can you call me Bucky, okay?”

“I can do that, _Bucky_.” Sam patted him on the shoulder then, “Come on, we gotta pack.”

“What kind of stupid ass name is Bucky anyway?” He’d ask on the way back to the house, and maybe for his trouble he’d get shoved a little, but there’d be a smile, and it would be everything.

                                               ***************

Sweden was a trip that saw each of them taking off separately and meeting up at a safe house two days later. The journey itself gave Sam some much needed time to think. Travelling as Roger S Wilson, he realised that Natasha might have also lost her livelihood but her sense of humour was still intact, such an oddball that she was. Bucky took off the night before Steve and he went their own separate ways. Seeing the familiar angst on Steve’s face as he all but waved him off broke Sam’s heart a little, more so that he still refused to see what Sam saw, still refused to acknowledge what was as plain as the nose on his face. But, Sam decided he wouldn’t push, maybe he shouldn’t ever push it.

It’s not like he wanted to break up with Steve, he loved the guy, but he could also see that Steve wasn’t’ fully there anymore, not with him, and that had started on that bridge with Bucky when he was still under Hydra’s control.

The question was what did Sam do? Did he step aside and be the good guy, make them see what was plain to see? No, because sure, he was a good guy, but he wasn’t a martyr, and his love for Steve was as real as whatever pining mess the _Brotherhood of the Depression_ had cooked up over the years, so no he wasn’t about to do that. But he wasn’t about to let whatever this was between them continue unchecked either.

                                                                      *******

“No, come on he doesn’t like that, you just… Buck! Come on that’s too much cheese!” he heard from beyond the door, knowing a. he had the right place and b. Steve really was shit at being stealth.

“Everyone loves cheese, don’t be a dumb punk, look how cheesy Stevie.” Barnes – Bucky – cracked a joke, an honest to god joke and Sam wasn’t around to witness it.  Before he opened the door he knocked, why, he wasn’t sure, but he did.

When he walked in he was faced with two super soldiers in the kitchen, in matching goddamn aprons.

What was his life?

“There he is! Your flight delayed?”

“Hey Sam,” Bucky said at the same time.

“Yeah, snow.” It was September but apparently where they were now that was normal.

“Yeah, Natasha said it’s something to get used to, but we’re not that far from the city, and the perimeter is well secured.” Steve added with a big smile, crossing the room to envelope him in a hug, pulling back he noticed Bucky was checking the oven as Steve moved in for a kiss.

“Flight okay?”

“Nothing like my wings, but the movies were good.”

Steve kissed him then, quick but loving. Before Bucky tapped the saucepan.

“Okay, here’s where I leave you kids.” He said in a sing song kind of voice and it was only then that Sam noticed he was dressed up, or at least dressed up for him. Black jeans as usual but this time with a real button up shirt, his hair was a tiny bit shorter too and if Sam wasn’t mistaken, he had even used product. Wonders would never cease. He looked really fuckin’ hot too, but Sam was keeping that to himself.

“You’re leaving?” He was about to protest, because please, they had talked about this.

“Bucky has a date.” Steve said, all smiles, looking from between Bucky and Sam. Bucky just rolled his eyes. He was looking damn good that’s for sure, in jeans that fit and a black button down with a white t-shirt peeking out. He smelled like Steve and that was a little confusing to Sam’s libdo.

“For the last goddamn time, it’s not a date. It’s an… apology.” He mumbled.

Sam just looked to Steve.

“Nat.”

“Ohhh,” Sam teased and Bucky actually blushed, running his hand through his hair.

“Stop, it’s not a date we’re not … it’s not like that.”

“It could be like that though.” Steve protested a tight smile now in place.

“I think where Bucky’s concerned a lot of things could be a lot of ways if he just let himself … go every now and then.” Sam confessed causing Bucky to look guiltily at him.

“But whatever it is or isn’t you have fun, you deserve a little fun. Besides, I can’t believe you’re cooking and running, Bucky what the hell?” Sam continued to tease and Bucky just patted him on the shoulder.

“I finally remembered my Ma’s recipe for her Swedish great-grandmother’s stew, I figured when in Rome – figuratively speakin’, and at least now we can afford the meat. Besides, your boy hasn’t seen you in a few days… I’d best get out of the way. Dodge for cover before the walls get assaulted with the …built up _tensions_.” He was joking, honest to god, light in his eyes, joking, and it earned him a flying dish cloth across the room from Steve.

“On that note,” Bucky laughed, patting Sam on the shoulder again. “Welcome home, Sam.”

                                                           *******

It carried on for a couple of weeks, his good mood. He cooked; he went for long walks where even Steve wasn’t sure what he was up to, until one day when Steve had gone into the city for a meeting with Maria Hill and Nick Fury that he invited Sam along. It turns out at least of his city boys knew how to ice fish.

“I like it here, it’s nice.” He said looking around as Sam all but froze his nuts off during their bonding session. And yeah, even he could admit, the wilderness was nice; the peace and quiet a rarity in their lives.  “Back before, I only ever did this once, when I was a kid we went to visit an aunt of mine in New England. One real cold winter when I was about nine, I remember coming back and tellin’ Stevie all about it.” He smiled, and out in the fresh air with some colour in his cheeks it wasn’t hard to see the guy from the 40’s.  “Not a big fan of the cold any more though,” he shrugged and Sam agreed.

“Yeah no shit, you couldn’t pick like …napping as a hobby?”

“Slept for a real long time, not much of a hobby anymore…” he added before changing lanes,

“You and Steve… he never really … got a fair chance before, with how things were with him.”

“Being sick and stuff?”

“And me, I guess.”

“You?”

“I used to um, find us dates? Like, real dates not the kind you pay for.”

That made Sam smile, the idea of presenting Steve Rogers with a hooker was something he might just do to see the reaction.

“But sometimes maybe I wasn’t so unhappy when they didn’t like him because that meant that I could cut the dates short and just go home and hang out with him. I always felt more myself when I was hanging out with him anyway, didn’t have to impress him or nothin’ and didn’t have to wear a tie.” Bucky shrugged, as if wearing a tie was the worst, and maybe it was. “I was selfish because I loved him then and I’m being selfish still by being here.”

“Are you going to have these crises of faith on a monthly basis, Bucky?”

Bucky just scowled at him then. “Maybe.”

“Well you know where I stand.”

“Aren’t you annoyed though? I’m basically the third wheel, constantly, Sam.”

“So? We’re a cute as fuck tricycle, is what we are.” Sam added intending to make him laugh and was filled with light and air when he not only succeeded but got him doubled over. And my god what a rush that was.

Sam wasn’t above admitting, at least to himself, that he had a touch of a crush on Bucky Barnes. He had even confessed this to Steve when they first started out, you know like the day before they figured out who the Winter Soldier was an all. That back in the day, Sam had more a crush on the side kick with the pouting mouth, than the fresh as a pin Captain America. Steve got a kick out of it before he kissed the hell out of him before admitting that yeah, Bucky was everyone’s type.

“Come on man…”

Bucky was attempting to protest just as his rod began to move. “Oh! Looks like we got something!”

Ten minutes of wrestling gently with the fish Bucky and Sam took off for home with dinner. Bucky promising to teach him how to gut it right; Sam was affronted, _excuse_ him for being raised in a time when they could just _buy_ their stuff gunk free! But Sam really enjoyed their impromptu cooking classes. He made a mental note to introduce him to something called spices though, because as fun as it was to watch him take charge, in what bland circle of hell did these guys come from?

He knew the answer.

The 1940s.

                                                           *********

He wasn’t sure when it happened really, when he started to see his relationship with the two of them as just that, a relationship with the _two_ of them. Was it when they moved from Sweden to Ireland? Maybe, was it when Natasha stopped by for dinner, now a blonde with blue eyes and a tan and teased them about being the cutest trio since The Three Amigos? Hm, no, but maybe; that night he saw Bucky Barnes for the very first time, not just in glimpses either, he saw easy smiles and out loud and proud jokes – mostly at Steve’s expense, but Sam felt alive when they were aimed at him too, a sign of trust, he felt.

Maybe it was when they bonded over what an idiot Steve became when it came to his own personal safety. The three of them ran a mission with Natasha, a quick and rather amazingly stealthy time of it in London, stolen tech which she was intrusted to retrieve. She didn’t need the back-up, she said, but she missed them, and it was her idea of a ‘fun weekend’.

It went well, in and out, until Steve spotted what the tech did, who it was aimed for.

And all hell broke loose.

There were things Steve didn’t tolerate without some kind of violence. Casual sexism, racism, bullying of any kind, and any little thing possibly connected to Bucky’s imprisonment and torture as the Winter Soldier. The tech was Russian; the specs were for the serum, the codes were shut down codes.

Steve broke Natasha’s protocol, and a few necks as Sam ended up dragging him out of there, after Steve broke a few more heads before he deemed it enough.

The end result was Bucky, Natasha and Sam staring Steve out for it while Bucky chastised.

“You compromised the mission because you couldn’t control your temper, this isn’t the back streets of Brooklyn no more Steve, God!”

“I did that because it was aimed at you! How is what I did the bad thing when they were literally doing this to get at YOU?”

“I know that!” Bucky yelled back as Natasha eyed Sam and raised her brow.

“They’re always like this don’t even,” Sam responded, but the two guys just kept on.

“Look, I’m not sorry Bucky, I’m not. They were bad guys and they were going to hurt you or god knows how many other people and if I can stop –“

“I knew we should have just  gone this one alone,” Bucky aimed at Natasha who just shrugged, and Steve looked hurt, Sam caught it.

“So that’s it? I’m the asshole for giving a damn?”

“No –“

“Then what?”

“I don’t need you to _Avenge me_ , Steve, that’s not what _this_ is.” Bucky motioned back and forth. “God, why can’t you see that, all I need is for you to just live your damn life and stop worrying about me!”

“But I do, I worry, ‘cause someone’s got to. So I do what I can. And also, I’m _literally_ an avenger and don’t think I’m not mad enough at you to not call you out on your stupid puns because that’s exactly what you’re doing.”

My god, Sam thought, they were _ridiculous_.

“You know if we peaced out they might not even notice,” Sam whispered to Natasha who just smirked, but Bucky did notice.

“Sam, can you talk some sense into him please since he won’t listen to me, maybe you’ll listen to your boyfriend.”

“Ho no, no do not go dragging me into this. Believe me, we know the extremes Steve will go to for you, this is just the tip of the co-dependent iceberg, Barnes.”

Bucky just sighed, putting his hands on his hips. Steve gave Sam his scrunchy eyebrows of sadness.

Man, he couldn’t win.

“What’s that meant to mean, Sam?”

“It means, dude, come on, you know what it means. It means, we done had our first five dates in different continents because you were hell bent on finding _this_ one,” Same motioned to Bucky, “and that’s fine, it is what  it is, so this little act of stupidity is just nothing in the grand scheme of things.”

“What he’s saying is, is that he’s used to it.” Natasha chimed in heading over to the mini bar and coming back with two tiny bottles of vodka, one for her and one for Sam.

“You think I wouldn’t do the same for you?”

Sam sighed.

“Steve, come on.”

“Well, do you?”

Now both Brooklyn boys were standing staring at him, arms folded. He looked to Nat who just smirked again.

“I …”

Was this how they showed their love? I love you, here lemme risk my life to show you how much? Damn, whatever happened to some nice flowers and some leisurely ass eating?

“Because I would; in a heartbeat, maybe less than a heartbeat. Sam…”

“Steve, no come on this isn’t…” Sam really wasn’t’ one for PDA and particularly in front of Natasha. But to hell with it. “Babe, don’t even second guess this I know you got me, I got you it’s all fine, really. That’s not what this is about though, this is about you diving in head first without a helmet, sometimes literally, Rogers, and that’s not okay. You might be super, but you’re still human, you’re our human and yes, what they were was awful, but what Barnes is trying to say though much gesturing and posturing because y’all are old ass men from the 40s, is that we care about you so stop doing stupid shit alone. I mean if anything, we’re here as back up, officially for said stupid shit.”

At that Steve just laughed out loud and Bucky groaned, snatching his little tiny Barbie vodka out of his hand and downing it.

“I hate you all.”

Then he looked at Nat.

“’Cept you.” And winked, flirting and at that Steve groaned.

Because he really can’t help himself, apparently.

                                                           ********************       

Weeks past, and crisis after crisis were averted, sometimes they’d join Natasha, sometimes even Thor popped up, though his idea of ‘under cover’ was insanely on top of the covers because he was a God and people noticed. But, he brought Asgardian presents and having him around made everyone feel calmer, safer even, which was an odd feeling since he already lived with two super soldiers. But their government still wanted them locked up, which meant more laying low, and laying low, in all honesty was boring as hell.

But it also meant he got to help both those guys catch up on some much needed pop culture, including many, many movie nights. And since the Irish weather liked to be fucking bat shit insane, that also just added to their time inside. They’d fight, they’d flirt, and when Bucky went for a run, sometimes Sam got laid.

They mostly napped.

Many, many naps were had.

“I like that you two are spending time together,” he overheard Steve tell Bucky one afternoon when they were all vegged out in front of the TV. It was snowing too heavily outside to really do much else. And Sam was a master at faking sleep.  They were on the last season of Golden Girls and frankly Sam knew Steve wasn’t ready to leave the ladies.

“Not much choice what with being sick looking at your ugly mug,” Bucky replied and figured he grabbed for some popcorn because he heart munching then.

“No I mean it’s nice, it’s …I’m glad you like each other.”

Bucky smirked.

“Shut up,” Steve defended, “you do like him, you cooked for him!”

“Okay so I like him, he’s a good man, and he makes you happy…and he introduced me to our now extensive spice rack, as he keeps telling us,” Sam heard the smirk.

“He does.” Steve whispered and Sam could hear his smile. “He… thinks that things between us are… or were … or … I don’t know that what we say we was… we weren’t.”

Captain Cryptic strikes again. The poor guy is brain damaged Steve, use your big words.

“He thinks…” Bucky began and if Sam wasn’t mistaken, he was sounding brave. “That we were in love with each other.”

After that it was deathly silence, and Sam really wished he could see the Epic Stare™ that was most likely happening.

“He …” Steve stammered. “He told you that?”

_More popcorn munching._

“Basically, I mean I told him, of course that he’s insane and that we was only ever –“

“Is he though?”

Bucky sighed then.

“Steve, come on.”

“What?”

“You … it wasn’t like that back then.” Ah the age old defence, the Barnes and Rogers’ version of ‘No Homo’.

“It wasn’t but I was and you were… you told me once … there _were_ guys.”

“Look … it … I just told you that so you’d go off with Carter, not worry so much about me. She was a good woman –“

“She was but this isn’t about her or how I felt about her, this is how I felt about _you_ .” They whispered harshly. “I… Sam isn’t insane in thinking what he does. Hell, even Natasha has this _look_ when she talks about us, and I hate it because they think I’m lying when I say it wasn’t like that with us because it wasn’t but that doesn’t mean that –“

“That what?”

“That I didn’t _want_ it to be.”

And there it was.

“Steve…”

“No, look I understood it was then and life was so … we’d go to jail for just thinking about it back then I know that! But it doesn’t change all those years… I just wanted it to be you.” He confessed softly.

Silence again.

“I …knew. I knew I wanted... not just women… I knew you maybe…” he heard Bucky breathe as he spoke, that was a telling sign of his stress levels, as the guy was ninja usually. “But Steve it was a confusing time, I thought I was broken, that I was wrong to want –“

“So you lied to me, you dated women and you flaunted it and …how many times … how many women did I catch you with? Was it on purpose? To hurt me if you knew?”  The hurt in Steve’s voice then, it was all Sam could do to still fake his nap.  Even in whispered tones he wanted to reach out and hug him.

“I never ever … I’d never do that to hurt you Steve. I was a mess okay? A fuckin’ mess long before the war fucked me up even more. I … if you think that I would … that I _could_ do that to you…”

“It sometimes felt like that.” Steve admittedly softly.

“It was never, ever –“

One of them moved then, Sam hoped closer to the other.

“I’m sorry, Stevie. I… am. I was a stupid kid who didn’t know what he coulda had. I never meant for it to hurt. I’m sorry.”

“Me too, me too Bucky,” Steve added with a sniffle.

Bucky sighed then, sniffling himself.

“It’s good to be honest but sometimes this century is exhausting.”

“They like their therapeutic talking sessions.” Steve sassed.

“Whatever happened to just drinking the pain away?” Bucky laughed.

“I don’t think that works, people still try it though. Hell, I still got some of Thor’s Asgardian Mead, you want some?”

“I wouldn’t say no.”

Steve shifted then, Sam knew because he knew his guy’s walk. Once he heard the fridge door open, he made his move, yawning, waking from his very fake nap.

“Mm, is there food?” He asked and was greeted by a snort. A Barnes Snort.

“What do we look like, your cooks?”

“Sometimes you do, though that pitiful _excuse_ for chicken escalope … _maybe_ not.” As he sat up, he got some popcorn threw at him, which he picked off his chest and ate.

“You’re disgusting. Steve your boyfriend is disgusting.” Bucky called out, and just smiled when Steve disagreed.

A smiling but still sad (seriously how did he do that?) Steve rounded the corner, a beer and two Asgard cocktails in hand.

“There’s last night’s take out,” Sam made a face.” Or we could order something new. I don’t feel like cooking.”

He was right and gladly accepted the beer but didn’t open it. He really hoped Natasha pulled through for them and landed on their doorstep with a mission soon he was starting to feel stir crazy.

“Cool, listen I’m gonna shower, I think and can you call it in? Feel like pizza?”

They both nodded. It was funny; no sense of the heart wrenching conversation he’d just interrupted was visible on their faces.  Beyond the sad longing, but Sam knew that to be just their regular faces. But he did his thing, took his shower and left them to it. Whatever else they had to say to each other, he figured they should do so privately.

When he got done their food was just arriving and there was another cold beer on the table waiting for him. Steve was digging through the cupboards for plates and Bucky was staring at his Avengers Mug, which he un-ironically loved.

It struck Sam how utterly domesticated they were now, it was weird. He’d never lived with a guy before – he didn’t count Riley because they bunked together and it wasn’t the same as a house – or an apartment or a shitty motel. Now, he lived with two guys, one of which he loved, the other he wasn’t sure what he felt. And that was kind of the problem. Showers were great for a few things, getting clean, having awkward _unnecessarily_ dangerous sex, and clearing your head. And Sam’s head was screaming at him that he loved Bucky that he had feelings that he shouldn’t have, right since he was ten years old and saw that beautiful face and stupidly sinful mouth pouting out of his history books at confused pre-teen Sam. He knew why he was pushing Steve toward Bucky so much. Because he wasn't just there for Steve any more. 

“You’re being weird, what happen you fall and smack your giant head on the tile, again.” Bucky commented, looking up from his mug, Sam realised he’d been standing staring off in to space for an undetermined amount of time.

“Huh? No, and shut up.”  He answered getting a smug grin from Bucky in retaliation, before he stormed off into their bedroom. He’d just gotten his underwear on when Steve came through, knocking, because Steve was that polite.

“You okay? Pizza’s served, I got a few other things too –“he added sheepishly, as if Sam didn’t know that he and Bucky could finish two large on their own as it was. He was used to their servings by now. He was glad he kept in shape, if not he would probably run the risk of looking like his great aunt Norma.

Sam shuddered at the thought.

“Naw I’m good, I’m just … I just…” he sighed, he was as bad a liar as Steve was now, that stupidly honest thing was contagious. He sat on their bed, t-shirt in hand.

“Steve I overheard you and Bucky before, I … didn’t mean to but I did.”

At that his guy blushed bright pink, and it would have been adorable except for the pained look in his eyes.

“Sam …”

“No, look I get it, actually I got it before y’all got it, but that’s not the point the point is –“

“IS that I’m with you, that I love you ,and that whatever the past was, it’s the past.” Steve added as he crossed the room to sit next to him, looking him in the eye. “You have to know I’d never risk –“

“Steve. I know you love me, I love you too,” Steve smiled at that, his poor touch starved guy. Sam grabbed his hand, “it’s just what we got it doesn’t negate what you’ve got with Bucky either.”

Scrunchy eyebrows returned.

“I’m a confused mess right now, sorry.” Sam admitted. “It’s just … bewildering, living how we live. Sometimes it’s so goddamn intimate I don’t know who I’m in a relationship with.” He whispered. “We have something but you got something with him too that I can’t touch, and to be honest I don’t want to touch it because it’s your thing, and you … God Steve you’ve got me spun right around sometimes.” He sighed again, not really sure where this was going. “Like, I trust you a hundred percent.”

“Good, you should.” Steve answered strongly.

“But…

“Also did you just use the word ‘bewildering?’?” Steve added and honestly why did he love this guy again?

He just scowled at him and Steve smiled, squeezing his hand.

“Sorry, I couldn’t help it.” He grinned because he was an ass-hole.

“I don’t love you, you’re an ass-hole.” Sam dead panned and it made Steve laugh.

“Come on, you love me because I’m an ass-hole, admit it.”

“It’s just everyone thinks you’re soO nice and soO sweet.  I know better.”

“I’m nice to you and sweet to you too. Sweet on you too.”

“You won’t distract my rants with flirting, Rogers.”

Serious face Steve returned and he nodded.

“Continue.”

“You love Bucky.”

“I-“

“You love him, and he loves you, and I love you, and I … think I maybe …”

Steve’s eyes widened then. Sam’s stomach rumbled. Right, pizza!

“Sam, have we Stockholm Syndrome’d you. Oh my god we have!”

Sam was so done with this punk. He made that damn joke at least once a week while they were IN Stockholm. ‘Sam is it because people get trapped inside because of the snow and end up falling in love? Look at Belle, it totally happened to her.’ That also put an end to their Disney marathons because everyone’s mom kept dying and Steve was a cynical asshole, as if his soul-mate didn’t break through brainwashing and seventy years of torture to save HIS life or anything.

“Steve… Are you drunk?”

That got a giggle, and a horrible attempt to stop it.

“I mean … maybe a lil’ bit.” He motioned with his finger and his thumb. “We did shots while you were in the shower because life is hard…and it seemed like the thing to do.” He shrugged.

_Jesus H Christ._

“Okay… wrong time for this conversation.” Sam attempted to stand up but Steve yanked him back down by his hand.

“No, come on, I’m listening I’m sorry, I love you. I’m listening.” The last of his sentence was whispered in to Sam’s ear as Steve kissed him there, kissed his neck, and moved to kiss his mouth. And frankly, Sam was only human and when Steve got drunk he got horny and it was a damn sight to see.

“Steve…” Sam attempted pulling back.

“Sorry. Listening.” He pulled back fully then but his hand was wandering up his thigh.

“You were saying something about having a crush on Bucky.” Steve said, not at a secret volume either, at that they heard some dishes clashing outside in the kitchen, and yeah it was safe to say Super Soldier Number 2 had heard at the very least, that part.

“I’ve been thinking things I maybe shouldn’t have … when it comes to him.” Sam whispered and Steve just nodded.

“Same.”

God help him, honestly, his grandmother asked for a nice, sweet girl with child bearing hips and good manners, he could have had his pick of the amazing Wakandan women, but no, he threw in his lot with the two whitest boys on the planet.

“I shouldn’t have said that.” Steve realises, drunk and fucking adorable. “Oh Sam, it’s not … I mean it’s just …sometimes. Not all the time, and only once when I was … well it was just like he …popped into my head and wouldn’t leave and then I … oh Sam.”

God, drunk Steve was a trip.

“Steve, you’ve been in love with the guy for like a million years, that’s … expected.”

Steve was shaking his head, his hand going for Sam’s neck again.

“Nuh-uh nope, no.”

Sam just glared.

“Steve let it go it’s fine, he’s hot okay, and he’s always been hot so I get it.”

“He was your school boy crush after all.”

There was another smash from the kitchen, then a meek response.

“I broke my mug I’m not listening I swear…” came Bucky’s muffled voice from the kitchen, and Sam was overly done. He got up and opened the bedroom door to find Bucky standing in the kitchen with a floor brush looking sheepish, and sloshed.

“Hi Sam.” He said before running his hand through his hair.

“Bucky…” Sam took a deep breath. “How much of that did you hear…?”

Bucky blushed, gripping the handle of the brush a little tighter.

“Uh, all of it; to be honest, my hearing is pretty tight and honestly… even when you guys are super quiet I can hear pretty much everything…”

“I KNEW IT.” Steve slurred from his spot on the bed. When Sam looked back he had his eyebrows raised and was nodding. “Told you so.”

“So I… was your school boy crush, huh?” Bucky began with a small grin. “That’s so cute Sammy.”

Sam blushed.

“Don’t call me Sammy.” Sam dead-panned and Bucky instantly sombre faced, before smiling again.

“Sorry. But for real you’ve been having naughty thoughts about me? Nice.”

“I regret teaching you idiots’ modern slang.” Sam sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“Okay so yeah things are … um. Complicated?” Sam attempted to offer, failing to maintain a sense of power here, because Bucky was all puppy eyes and soft smiles, and Steve was swaying where he sat.

“Get in here a second would you?”

Bucky complied, leaving his little pile of broken mess and his brush behind.

“Okay so uh… Steve, pay attention,” Steve was in fact not paying attention, instead he was kicking off his shoes and making himself comfortable with a blanket, sitting on the bed. “I’m not really sure where this is headed because, frankly, it’s a confusing mess; I’m a confusing confused mess.” Sam confessed and Steve merely nodded along sympathetically.

“Sam loves me and likes you, Buck. I love Sam and love you and so that’s why it’s confusing him.” Steve provided, Sam merely glared at his bluntness.

“What? Isn’t that what this all boils down to?”

“He’s a straight forward drunk, always has been.” Bucky chimed in, a goofy smile aimed at Steve.

“HA, it’s about the only straight thing about me,” he winked, and Sam really needed a drink. Can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em right?

“Sam is freaking out Steve; we have to be serious right now.” Bucky attempted to help but if Sam wasn’t mistaken, he was swaying too.

“How much of that shit did you two drown?”

“Whole thing…” Steve quipped, before grinning. “Told you, life was hard; I just told my oldest friend in the world I loved him while still being very in love with my boyfriend and my heart hurts Sam… am I having a heart attack?” Steve grasped hard at his chest, hands on his heart.

“No, you’re just a dramatic drunk.”

“Some things never change.” Bucky admitted, with a tired sigh, deciding to sit on the bed beside Steve then, before pulling Sam by the arm next to him. “The floor was moving I think it’s not safe.”

“I’m in hell…” Sam commented, to himself, or God, or whoever was listening. While the two guys in front of him shared a look, one that Sam didn’t know how to decipher.

Before he could think of where this was going next, Sam found himself face to face, lips to lips with Steve. Kissing him softly, openly, lovingly. When he pulled back, Steve was smiling gently.

“Seemed like you could use that,” Steve may or may not have patted him on his head. He just sat back, a little dumbfounded.

“Why are our lives so weird? I mean this isn’t normal you both know that right? Look I didn’t mean for any of this to … I …ugh.” Sam quit, he quit, and he had no more words. So, they just sat there, all three of them, on the bed, absorbing way too much information.

“So what do we do now then?” Bucky asked, to seemingly no one, staring at his hands.

“We wait until you’re both sober to have this conversation; you need to sleep it off.” Sam added, the sensible thing, the mature, adult thing, would be to put this all to bed and resume in the morning. But, his dramatic drunk boyfriend had other ideas.

“You wanna kiss him, Buck? He’s a real good kisser. Real good at lots of stuff. Like smiling,” Steve beamed and it made Sam cackle. He was so screwed. But then Barnes was looking at him, really looking at him, and Sam started to sweat a little. Because it was the truth, he’d had a crush on ‘Bucky Barnes’ for as long as he knew what crushes were, he never expected this!

“Maybe Sam doesn’t wanna kiss me, _Steve_ , shut up.” Bucky then countered, whacking a pillow at Steve who caught it with perfect precision, of course.

“Sam?” Steve chipped, twirling the pillow as he spoke. “Tell him he’s dumb and that you’ve thought about this a lot,” Yeah, Sam was definitely sweating. “I see you, and I agree.” As if it was as simple as that.

“What… Maybe you’re the one that should be kissing him, Steve, ever think of that?” Weak come back, but he was freaking out.

Steve just shrugged.

“Nah, we’ve already kissed.”

At that, so casual a confession, Sam was stumped. Bucky was blushing red.

“Huh?”

“Who’d you think taught me, huh? We were what? –“

“Fifteen,” Bucky confessed too, and oh, that was interesting.

“For real?”

“Mm, Bucky had made out with Franny Martin on the train, came home and decided I needed to know how to kiss.” Steve was picking at the material of the cushion, so Sam looked to a very guilty looking Bucky.

“Is that how it was?”

“Sorta…”

Steve looked up then.

“Huh?”

“I um…” oh he was blushing, Sam was loving this, like, like, secret confessions were his favourite thing, only when he wasn’t the one confessing, “had kissed her, but it sorta made me crazy because I realised she wasn’t who I really wanted to have my first real kiss with…”

“Oh.” Steve said softly, a soft flush flooding his face.

“See these things should happen _natural_ , Steve, not _forced_ … So on that note I’mma go clean up out there.” Bucky decided, and moved to stand, Steve sighed, and Sam decided that maybe he’d fallen down and smacked his head off the tile in the shower and this was all a very strange dream

“Life is hard,” Steve murmured. “But this shouldn’t be.” He looked at Sam then, all soft features and big doe eyes, just out in the open, all his emotions on his face. Loving people in their line of work was an insane thing to do, but you loved who you loved and in that moment Sam realised that he loved them both.

And that Steve was right, this shouldn’t be hard.

So he leaned in and kissed him on the cheek, before standing up with purpose, and heading to the kitchen.

He found Bucky neatly putting away the glasses he had just washed, dish towel in hand as he walked up to him and summoned any courage he had left, before he stopped a hair in front of his face.

“You wanna kiss me?” Sam asked, and he swore Bucky wasn’t breathing. “If this is a Steve only situation I understand it, I won’t give him up, but … I’ll understand it.” He tried to make clear. “I wanna kiss you, I wanna …. Do a lot of things I probably shouldn’t with you both, but –“it was all it took for Bucky to huff a breath, and Sam wondered for half a second if he was about to get a metal fist to the face – it wouldn’t have been the first time. But no, instead, he got pulled close by his hips, and kissed by lips so soft he had trouble believing they belonged to a man, that man in particular.  He pulled back as sweetly as he kissed and for the first time since he was a kid, Sam realised how beautiful Bucky Barnes really was. Not that it wasn’t painfully obvious every damn day that he was handsome, but in that moment, he was goddamn beautiful, “That was… um…” Bucky blushed, hand to the hair again, “was that okay?”

Sam wanted to laugh, but knew how delicate the moment was, so he nodded, before leaning in again and kissing him a little more purposeful, when he felt his hands grip his hips and move to push up against him, Sam knew he was doing the right things, more so when Bucky backed him against the kitchen counter, trapping him between his thighs and the doors, still kissing.

“Been wanting to do that for a while, actually.” Bucky confessed when they separated once again, this time, Sam took a step back – to catch his breath, and in order to do that a little distance was needed.

“Yeah?” Sam may or may not have grinned ear to ear.

“Yeah.”

Maybe life was hard; maybe their life was nuts, but maybe it also meant they could have this.

“Know someone else you’ve been wanting to kiss for a little longer, give or take a few decades.” Sam added in a whisper, before he slipped his hand in Bucky’s warm one, giving it a squeeze, letting the guy take a second too.

“You sure –“

“Wouldn’t be standing here if I wasn’t, trust me?”

“I do … I do trust you Sam.” He answered so damn earnestly that Sam’s heart ached a little. Giving the guy a little nudge they made their way to the bedroom, with the high hopes of getting Steve very much in on this magic, only to find him snoring.

Snoring, clutching the pillow like he sometimes clutched at Sam in his sleep.

Bucky looked at him, that same soft expression he caught sometimes without meaning to, a private look, one that Sam wagered he’d been looking half his life, and then he looked to Sam and it didn’t change. Sam wondered if it was affection, or love, or maybe the beginnings of both. Either way, both men cracked up silently at the image of their beefcake super guy, curled up like a kitten.

“Let’s get some sleep, huh? We can talk about this in the morning.” Sam motioned to the big bed, and after a half a second of hesitation, Bucky moved to find his space.

“Yeah, that’s a good idea.” Bucky whispered, shedding his t-shirt, exposing his scars, a thing he almost never did in Sam’s company. Another show of trust, Sam knew, and his heart swelled.

As Sam slipped into bed, on his side, Bucky on the other, and Steve very much trying not to take up too much space in the middle, like it was second nature to him, Sam realised that this, this was also second nature, because it felt natural. It felt right.

And he was more than willing to hold it, and them as close as he was allowed.

They’d earned a shot at this.

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Any and all reviews are totally encouraged! Find me on tumblr if you want to chat! Same user name and everything ;)


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